*NO LONGER VIABLE*
No way you found the really (not secret at all) secret link!!1!11!!!1!
It is officially time to go to haccxxcxor world. Upon clicking the link below you shall be graced upon by the best browser ever built by mankind. Run the executable and choose an install path for this holy piece of software.
Once installed, double click the .exe to start the browser, and then make your way over to the chrome web store to install yet another astonishingly beautiful piece of sculpted ones and zeroes gracefully given the name of "Hoxx"
After installing Hoxx through the Chrome Web Store it will prompt you to make an account. Use either your personal email or a burner email (recommended). If, for instance, Hoxx doesn't work for you try any one of the other 5,000,000 proxies.
Side note: this is like hella sketch so if you do decide to sign in to any account make sure 2FA is enabled or something cause we wouldn't want anyone doing parkour off a building because their account got stolen now would we? (probably not likely though)